It seems like everyone these days is focused on the "bullying epidemic" in our schools. There are stories all over the news of kids attempting suicide because of bullying or kids who stand up to bullied being punished for "fighting" when they weren't even the one starting it! It seems like a much bigger problem than when I was in school.
I remember being on both sides of this bullying thing. When I was in third grade, I was part of a little clique. Other girls wanted to hang out with us, but they weren't "cool" enough. I don't remember much of those days, but I do remember when I got glasses, their attitude towards me changed. In fourth grade, we moved away to a different town and I started school at a private school. I had been in public school before. All 8 of my classmates had been in school together since pre-school. I was the outsider. I had glasses and freckles and I had gone to a *gasp* ELEMENTARY SCHOOL!!! The horror of not being in private school my whole life! Some of the other students were nice and friendly, but a few of them were pretty mean. Especially one of the guys. He was just a jerk!!! A year later, I transferred schools to the local public school. Again, I was the new kid. But it wasn't as bad as the transfer into the private school. And once we hit 7th grade, the private school kids had to go into the public school because our town didn't (and still doesn't) have a private Jr. High or High School.
In high school, I gravitated towards the outcast group. I got along with the jocks and "preppy" kids, but we never hung out together. A few people still teased me, but I learned that if I let it roll off my back instead of being bothered by it, they will stop. Being called "Freckles" once bothered me. Then one day, I decided to accept the nickname. There were always those people that would talk behind my back about one thing or another, but I had to learn to just let it go.
Guess what. Those people who talked behind my back in High School have no effect on my life today. Some of them have sent me friend requests on Facebook, I occasionally run into some of them when I visit my hometown. They've changed. We all have. That's what happens when you leave High School. You change. You grow up. Well, most of us grow up. The world tests us and those who were on top of the HS popularity chain find themselves in a different place out here. The ones who dealt with bullies in school and learned how to handle those hard situations went on to face life and they are winning out here!
Fast forward to schools today. Such a big deal is made out of bullying. Everyone wants to put an end to bullies, we need to teach all children to be compassionate. I agree, we need to teach children compassion. We need to teach our children that its not ok to be mean to someone just because you can. Let's teach them that calling someone names can hurt them. We need to teach them that some people are going to be mean and that dwelling on it isn't good. Teach them that it's better to ignore a bully than to sink to his/her level.
But us parents also need to remember that children are sponges. More is caught than taught. We need to lead by example, whether our children can directly see it or not. The internet has brought out the bullies in the worst possible way. Every day on Facebook, I see adults resort to name calling and bashing of others. I see it on different fan pages and in the various groups. One person posts an opinion that doesn't match the majority of whatever group they are in and the sharks come out! And it's not limited to just one type of group, either. I see it on the political pages, the sewing pages, the cloth diapering pages, the special needs pages, all over the place. Adults being bullies and their children are watching. Why do you think we have such a big problem in the schools? Because of the examples being set at home! I know we can't change everyone's behavior, but maybe if enough of us parents start to stand up and make a change, then we can start seeing a change in the schools.
